FORGIVENESS (PART 3)

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I mentioned earlier that for one to be able to truly forgive, we must receive that grace to forbear. That ability to patiently and politely refrain or hold back from acting in the face of provocation. The true test of having that ability to forbear was portrayed in Peter's question to the Lord in Matt 18:21-22 (see also Luke 17:1-6) - "how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Peter may at least be willing to do so seven times in a lifetime. But to forgive someone seven times in a day or four hundred and ninety times in a lifetime is way beyond human ability. Then they all cried out to him asking "Give us more faith."  What is actually needed is grace- the divine enablement God grants to men to go beyond their own abilities. Friends, there is grace for everything. We must keep going before the Throne of Grace to find grace to help us in our times of trials and temptations. I have discovered that the grace I received to forbear and forgive John may not be able to cover for Jane. The hurts and pains inflicted are deeper when it comes from people we trust or love the most. We may therefore need more grace to forgive offenders in the family than strangers. Even much more grace will be needed when the family offender keeps the offences coming.
The mark of true forbearance and forgiveness is seen when we do not act in response to the offence. When relationships are restored as if the offence never occurred. When there are no resentment or bitterness from remembering the offence. When you do not allow the offence to affect or change your good plans towards the offender. This is what forgiving and forgetting means.
Let this message be a divine call to you to look back at your response to offences. Let this draw you into a searching of your hearts if there be any form of resentment kept hidden in secret store rooms of your heart towards any offender. There is a Yoruba adage that says iyan ogun odun, a ma jo ni lowo. Literally speaking means pounded yam prepared twenty years ago, can still give much heat to your hands. This implies that an unresolved matter or incidence that occurred twenty years ago, when reopened can still generate much heated feelings as when it occurred. Let this message draw you unto the Throne of grace to receive grace to forbear and forgive all long standing offences and even more those that are yet to come for assuredly He had said "It is impossible but that offences will come..."

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